15 Biggest Divorce Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Divorce is always difficult and fraught with emotions. In the heat of emotional upheaval it is very common for people to make mistakes which will cost them. Most of these mistakes are avoidable. Here are some mistakes you can avoid.
Mistake # 1: Failing to understand the divorce process. It is important to take the time to become educated about the divorce process.
Mistake #2: Confusing your emotional divorce with the legal divorce. The legal divorce deals with finances, dividing assets and debts fairly, care for your children. Emotional aspects should be worked out separately.
Mistake #3: forgetting to weigh the cost vs. Benefit of each decision. Some things are worth fighting for; others are not. Always weigh the cost of the fight against the benefit you will derive to ascertain if the issues issue is worth the expense of the fight.
Mistake #4: Placing emotional value on wining the final contest with your spouse, or even worse, hurting your spouse-rather than assuring that you will land in a good place financially, legally and emotionally when the divorce is final
Mistake #5: Comparing your situation to others. No two family situations are exactly the same, and no two divorce outcomes will be exactly the same. Don't waste time and energy comparing your case with other, the results are not going to be exact.
Mistake #6: Believing that to win the children, the children must lose the other parent. Wrong. The greater the parental conflict the greater the children's injury and loss.
Mistake #7: Deciding to fight everything. The more acrimonious the divorce becomes, the more financially and emotionally costly the process becomes.
Mistake #8: Believing you will get revenge for all the pain you believe your spouse has caused you. Every attack results in a defense that injures the attacker. The end result, vengeance will become self-inflicted injury and pain.
Mistake #9: Believing you do not need to protect yourself. If you believe your spouse will take care of you during or after the divorce you may be sadly mistaken. You need to take control of and make every decision based upon what will work for you after the divorce is final.
Mistake #10: Rushing into decisions. Understandably you will want to get through the process as quickly as possible; however you need to carefully consider each and every decision,
Mistake #11: Failing to develop realistic settlement goals of what you want and need when your divorce is final. Make sure your settlement goals clear and meet your needs and wants.
Mistake #12: Failing to develop a plan that will help you deal with emotional pain and recovery. Make sure you take specific steps to deal with your emotions and move forward after the divorce is final.
Mistake #13: Making decisions that don't make legal or financial sense just to get the divorce over with. Remember divorce decisions are legally biding and not easily changed. The decisions you make will have significant impact on your future.
Mistake #14: Insisting on acquiring assets that you can not afford to maintain. It is illogical to fight for an asset for which you can not afford to maintain.
Mistake #15: Being overly concerned about your spouse's needs and feelings. If you spend your energy trying to protect your spouse feelings and need you will shortchange yourself.
Mistake # 1: Failing to understand the divorce process. It is important to take the time to become educated about the divorce process.
Mistake #2: Confusing your emotional divorce with the legal divorce. The legal divorce deals with finances, dividing assets and debts fairly, care for your children. Emotional aspects should be worked out separately.
Mistake #3: forgetting to weigh the cost vs. Benefit of each decision. Some things are worth fighting for; others are not. Always weigh the cost of the fight against the benefit you will derive to ascertain if the issues issue is worth the expense of the fight.
Mistake #4: Placing emotional value on wining the final contest with your spouse, or even worse, hurting your spouse-rather than assuring that you will land in a good place financially, legally and emotionally when the divorce is final
Mistake #5: Comparing your situation to others. No two family situations are exactly the same, and no two divorce outcomes will be exactly the same. Don't waste time and energy comparing your case with other, the results are not going to be exact.
Mistake #6: Believing that to win the children, the children must lose the other parent. Wrong. The greater the parental conflict the greater the children's injury and loss.
Mistake #7: Deciding to fight everything. The more acrimonious the divorce becomes, the more financially and emotionally costly the process becomes.
Mistake #8: Believing you will get revenge for all the pain you believe your spouse has caused you. Every attack results in a defense that injures the attacker. The end result, vengeance will become self-inflicted injury and pain.
Mistake #9: Believing you do not need to protect yourself. If you believe your spouse will take care of you during or after the divorce you may be sadly mistaken. You need to take control of and make every decision based upon what will work for you after the divorce is final.
Mistake #10: Rushing into decisions. Understandably you will want to get through the process as quickly as possible; however you need to carefully consider each and every decision,
Mistake #11: Failing to develop realistic settlement goals of what you want and need when your divorce is final. Make sure your settlement goals clear and meet your needs and wants.
Mistake #12: Failing to develop a plan that will help you deal with emotional pain and recovery. Make sure you take specific steps to deal with your emotions and move forward after the divorce is final.
Mistake #13: Making decisions that don't make legal or financial sense just to get the divorce over with. Remember divorce decisions are legally biding and not easily changed. The decisions you make will have significant impact on your future.
Mistake #14: Insisting on acquiring assets that you can not afford to maintain. It is illogical to fight for an asset for which you can not afford to maintain.
Mistake #15: Being overly concerned about your spouse's needs and feelings. If you spend your energy trying to protect your spouse feelings and need you will shortchange yourself.
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